Helpful?

I realised today that men seem to feel the need to offer solutions or solve our problems - even when we're not asking them to! 
Today I was telling a friend (and PE teacher) how sore I was after doing a Body Pump (weights) class yesterday for the first time in months.  Just sharing the pain.  However he felt the need to;
1.  Tell me why I was sore (which I had sort of guessed!).
2.  That it isn't an effective source of exercise when done once-off and is why those classes are no good (though I did point out that you have to start sometime - there is always going to be that first class).
3.  Explain to me the 'right' way to do weight training. 
I feel a bit nasty writing that because he certainly wasn't doing it a condescending way - he actually was trying to 'help' me.  But all I wanted was a little sympathy :)

Technology Peer-Pressure

Is there such thing as technology peer-pressure?  Or, more specifically, iPhone peer pressure?  I believe so.  And I believe I have succumbed to the pressure.  I had found myself at lunchtime discussions with colleagues feeling ostracised and as if somehow I was 'out-of-the-loop' with technology (is this maybe how my Mum feels all the time?  Although she has just learnt how to text...but that's another story!).  Discussing their apps, pulling their phones out to show photos, check emails, google the answer to a discussion we were having.  And they all had one.  Except me.  I could only sit there and politely nod and act as though I knew what they were talking about.  But half the time I didn't.  They were speaking another language that I could only slightly decipher.  But certainly couldn't speak myself.  I had always been fascinated with the smartphone and impressed (if not a little sceptical) of the things it can do.  However I had never felt the need to have one.  I believed I could live without it.  And then I realised that maybe I did need it.  Maybe my life wasn't complete without one.  Or at least, maybe my life could improve with one,  So I succumbed.  I bowed to the peer-pressure.  I got an iPhone.  And for the first day I had it I was the 'popular' kid at lunchtime - pulling my phone out to show them, others crowding around to show me which apps to get etc.  
I do love it (have had it for three days now) and am marvelled by the technology (my favourite is an app in which I scan the barcodes of the books I own and it catalogues them for me) but I am finding that I am spending hours searching for apps, playing games, fiddling with settings.  And I'm not sure quite yet how it has improved my life.  Maybe it has added some enjoyment (like all new toys) and apps like 'mapmyrun' and 'calorie counter' will add something to my exercising but it's not like I wouldn't still be able to do those things without the iPhone. 
I guess I shouldn't question it's need in my life but just enjoy it.  And feel satisfied that now I can contribute to lunchtime conversations - I am no longer left out!

Facebook ‘Friends”

They really should have another name for it, or at least divide the people into categories.

When I found out I was pregnant, my husband and I saw a friend of his in the supermarket.  His wife was heavily pregnant at the time, so heavily pregnant in fact, that she was a week overdue and he had commented that she had gone for long walks to try and bring the baby on.  She then came around the corner of the aisle.  I said 'Hello' and shared with her our exciting news, expecting her to be excited too.  I commented to her that hopefully their baby will come soon.  She replied with ‘I don’t want to talk about it quite frankly’ and with that walked off, leaving her husband to try and explain her rudeness.

I decided from then on to not give her any of my time.  Now this may seem harsh but I didn’t know her that well and the times I had met her she wasn’t overly friendly anyway.  It was an easy decision for me, especially as being excited as I was about such a life changing experience for us, it was quite deflating. 

So the next few times I saw her I didn’t smile, didn’t acknowledge – nothing.  I didn’t think anymore about it.

Then recently, almost a year and half later, I get a friend request on facebook from her.  What the?!

1. I’m not her friend
2. Why would she even want to be a facebook friend after the way I treated her?

Of course I added her anyway, as you do.

Why is it when I’m happy I can’t think deeply?

Go back 5 years ago and I was sad - very sad.  The things I thought about and played around with in my mind were scarily deep.  I also felt deeply.  I really hurt.  I ached.  Deep down right to the core agony.  For the first time I really felt what sadness was.  I wanted a pill to make it all better and had to keep reminding myself that this is what sadness feels like.  It hurts.  I was meant to feel this way after what had happened.  So I allowed myself to feel it all, and with that came a lot of deep thinking, self awareness and analysing. 

Finally, I got over what happened and I am now genuinely happy and content.

All I can think about is funny and quirky things.  I always look on the brighter side of life.  Everything is light hearted and easy.  Not too much analysing required.  Life is just peachy.  I just live and don’t usually make the most of every moment.  The days go by and I’m just living a happy life. 

Do we need to feel sadness and hurt to think deeply? Why, when we are hurting, do we feel the need to write our thoughts down but when we are happy we don't?  Is that why there is the old cliché of the tortured writer or poet?  Are we subconsciously trying to capture ourselves at our deepest so we can remind ourselves when we are content that we can be a deeper being? Do we need to be hurt, in angst, in the depths of despair, to bring out deep thought?

But then I may also be contradicting myself, as is this thought about not being deep at the moment, actually, deep?

Isn't that a question?

Why do people ask 'Can I ask a question?'
Firstly, they didn't ask permission to ask that question - they went ahead and just asked it.
Secondly, by the time they wasted my time asking that pointless question, they could have just asked the question they really want the answer to.
Thirdly, what if I just said 'No'?

Do you lose respect for me because I love 'Gossip Girl?'

It's a little embarrassing for me to admit but I think it is time I came out and admitted it - owned up to my secret shame.  I love watching 'Gossip Girl.'  My Tuesday night special.  In the lead up to watching it I tell myself that I don't need to watch it.  I can't even really remember why I love it.  I can convince myself that it is not my type of show.  But then it starts.  And immediately I am drawn in.  I am hooked onto every unrealistic, far-fetched and often ludicrous story lines as though it was happening in my world.  Even though the 'upper-east New York socialite' lives of the characters couldn't be any further from my own reality.  I'm not sure there is even a character I really like (except Dan Humphrey - the oh-so-stereotypical brooding, smart, hot writer).  But I think we all need that 'escape' show.  The one that we watch half wishing we had lives like that - but the other half breathes a sigh of relief that we don't have to deal with that level of drama weekly (I hope!).  But I would love to be able to 'pull-off' the fashions (and have the money to do so!).  And I would love the seemingly lack of awareness of consequences that, while causing much short-term heartache, their resilience allows them to 'bounce' back so quickly (usually into the next drama).  I'm not sure I'd have the resilience and perseverance to handle it all!  Maybe they are a good role model for us - in dealing with, and overcoming, conflict!  See, I really have just talked (written?) myself into a real, legitimate and shameless reason for watching 'Gossip Girl.'  Do you have a 'secret shame' show that you are ready to 'out' yourself with?  Be brave.
Well, now I'm off, it's Tuesday night and I have to escape into my show! 

Expectations

So over the last week I have found myself regularly frustrated with other people (I'm talking mainly work-related).  And I couldn't work out why.  But everyday there seemed to be something new that caused me to either emotionally implode - or thankfully - find a friend to have a good vent to.  In assessment of the reasons for my lack of patience and understanding I discovered a common cause.  Me.  More specifically, my expectations.  My frustrations were formed from others not meeting my expectations.  In all sorts of ways.  But always the same - not meeting what I consider the 'acceptable.'  Which has led me to a bit of a self exploration.  Is it me who needs to change?  Do I need to adjust my expectations?  Will this alleviate my frustrations? 
But then I think that having expectations is a good thing.  That I shouldn't accept less.  That being frustrated is a reasonable reaction when others don't meet that expectation. 
But then I have to remember that only I am aware of these expectations.  That it is me who controls what I expect.  That I control how I react.  And that it is my challenge to be able to deal with this frustration in a positive way - by finding a way to be assertive (and constructive) in making others aware of my feelings, or to simply 'suck it up!'
I also have to remember that I am probably (!) not meeting the expectations of others and providing them with the same sort of frustrations!  I guess it's 'expectations karma!'  Actually, on that note, I hope this musing lives up to your expectations :)