Freckle fraud

Reporting from Turtle Bay Resort, North Shore, Oahu, Hawaii.

I do believe that I have not seen one other freckly person since I've been in Hawaii.  Did I somehow make it through some secret screening process that weeds out the 'unacceptable' skin from the others before you enter?  Did my makeup work well enough to fool them into believing I have smooth, clear skin with no freckles?  I do believe that I am a bit of a fraud here.  There are some ridiculous skin colours here.  When I say tanned skin I am talking about a whole different type of tan than the golden, healthy-glow-type of tan that is synonymous with Australia.  This is a deep, I've-spent-hours-in-the-sun, leather-looking, glistening with oil and in twenty-years-I'll-regret-this-and-look-like-an-old-handbag kind of tan.  And the worst thing is - they look fantastic!  No matter what size they are they look toned without any cellulite in sight.  They look like they belong on the beach.  They look like the sun has dropped on them softly a silky, caramel coating.  Then there's me.  For whom the sun has seen my pale canvas and just thrown the caramel at me, flicking speckles of caramel over me randomly.  Flick, flick.  Missed a spot there.  Don't forget the chest and hands.  Some larger, mole-like splotches will break it up a bit. 
As an aside, I am also in the minority by wearing hats.  They seem to be an optional extra for beach-goers here.  Especially for children.  I haven't gone further than five metres from the hotel room without some sort of hat (it also helps to hide the top-frizz of the beach hair).  On the beach this afternoon there were approximately 60 people.  I counted maybe four or five people wearing a hat.  And that is not an exaggeration.  It seems the sun-smart message has not reached these people (most who are tourists from mainland US).
Aloha!