Go back 5 years ago and I was sad - very sad. The things I thought about and played around with in my mind were scarily deep. I also felt deeply. I really hurt. I ached. Deep down right to the core agony. For the first time I really felt what sadness was. I wanted a pill to make it all better and had to keep reminding myself that this is what sadness feels like. It hurts. I was meant to feel this way after what had happened. So I allowed myself to feel it all, and with that came a lot of deep thinking, self awareness and analysing.
Finally, I got over what happened and I am now genuinely happy and content.
All I can think about is funny and quirky things. I always look on the brighter side of life. Everything is light hearted and easy. Not too much analysing required. Life is just peachy. I just live and don’t usually make the most of every moment. The days go by and I’m just living a happy life.
Do we need to feel sadness and hurt to think deeply? Why, when we are hurting, do we feel the need to write our thoughts down but when we are happy we don't? Is that why there is the old cliché of the tortured writer or poet? Are we subconsciously trying to capture ourselves at our deepest so we can remind ourselves when we are content that we can be a deeper being? Do we need to be hurt, in angst, in the depths of despair, to bring out deep thought?
But then I may also be contradicting myself, as is this thought about not being deep at the moment, actually, deep?
I think that when we are happy or satisfied we don't want to think about why - it's an emotion we don't question and certainly don't want to change. So we don't really address it (maybe slightly superstitious - not wanting to 'rock the boat'?). But when we are feeling sad or hurt or unsatisfied it's an emotion that we want to question and look at why, how etc. Mainly because we want to change that emotion or perhaps just give ourselves the comfort that is a reason for the emotion. But then again, sometimes we just like to wallow in it - I mean, we can't appreciate the highs without the lows can we?
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