Pressure - supermum, superbody.

So this is the picture that has caused many media commentators (and social gossips) to gush over how fabulous Miranda Kerr looks after "just giving birth."  How fabulous she is, what a supermum as well as supermodel she is, coming out in public looking so thin and happy.  Please, give us a break.  Yes, she looks gorgeous - she always has.  Her body looks great - it always has.  But to praise her as being something to aspire to as a 'new mum' isn't helpful - it just puts pressure on the reality - that women's bodies cannot miraculously return to their formal glory so quickly.  I'm not blaming Miranda Kerr for this.  She is entitled to look fabulous and feel good about herself.  It's the media that paint her as something extraordinary for being able to do so.  But look carefully at this photo and what she is wearing.  She has cleverly hidden the parts of the body that maybe even she could be a little self-conscious about after giving birth (the stomach, hips and thighs) with the wide skirt and tulle.  She as accentuated her upper-body which is amazing - even making the most of having larger breasts as a new mum!  What if she had worn a skin-tight dress that showed off maybe a little bit of a jelly-belly or even wider hips?  Would the media be praising her for embracing this body?  No.  They may not express negative comments but they certainly wouldn't be focusing on it in a positive way either.  

With all the education and awareness of body image in women I seem to get the impression that, while occasionally there is focus on representing 'normal' women in fashion, the pressure to be thin has actually only increased.  And has now entered the world of child-bearing - a time when traditionally it was expected to develop a bit of extra 'padding' - even seen as 'healthy.'  Now it's about how quickly can you get back to your 'before baby' size - or even more so - how to be smaller than before bubs.  The media constantly feed us images of celebrity mothers who have even 'better bodies' than before they gave birth.  What extraordinary women these are.  Showing us all that having a baby doesn't mean we have to change at all.  All dressed up as 'motivational' and 'inspirational' rather than the truth - pressure and yet another time we have to worry about our body image. 

However I do not doubt that these celebrity mums haven't worked to regain these bodies.  And I also understand that they are probably under more pressure than anyone else to return to a size 0.  But I also understand that it is a lot easier for them when they have the money, time and means to do so.  If we all had at our disposal and whim a nanny, nutritionist and personal trainer we would all 'bounce' back better than before.  You will also find that what feels like a quick transformation (wasn't she only pregnant two weeks ago?) is actually usually over a 6 - 12 month period.  We just haven't seen them in the media during that time, distracted by other celebrities to occupy magazine pages. 

This isn't about berating mothers who really want to, and work hard to, lose weight or regain fitness after having a baby.  Far from it.  It's about the pressure that is felt and how somehow observing 'post-baby' bodies has become part of our lives.  I see it all around me with my friends. Hear them say they can't lose the weight, or that they dislike their 'jelly-belly'.  And we all comment on how 'great' such-and-such looks since having the baby.  I saw photos of my best friend (living in another state) 8 months after the birth of her gorgeous girl and the first comment I made was 'gee she her body looks great.'  Even though she has always had a great body.  Sadly, my friend admitted that she felt the want and need for people to say to her 'you don't even look like you've had a baby!'  She didn't lose the kilos just to get back to a healthy non-pregnant weight; she lost the weight to get those comments, admitting that it is the wrong motivation.  She feels sad that she has given into this pressure. 

Rarely have I seen someone who was a thin person suddenly become the side of a truck or a large person really skinny.  I have found usually they are the same, maybe just a few kilos heavier or with a little jelly belly.  But change in the body is inevitable.  I watched a show in which they explained that it is biologically impossible to return to the same body after birth because the body naturally changes during pregnancy (particularly chest and pelvis) - not that you can' t lose weight but just that it will never be the exact same body.  Just a newer (and improved) version! 

When it comes to the post-baby body, it seems there is pressure from the media, from others and quite commonly, from ourselves.  Pressure to get back to our 'former selves.'  What is forgotten that in having a baby there is not returning to a 'former self.'   Just developing a new self.